What Grief Has Taught Me.

What grief has taught me...

• That there is a much deeper, harder understanding to "God is good" or "God is faithful." Such statements are true, yes, but not always in a way that is easy or circumstantial. He is good even when my babies die. He is faithful even when I pray for health and trust Him with my babies, but lose both anyways. How is this so? That's a question a grieving person knows too well and continues to works through. 
• That "a friend loves at all times." There are a few, precious friends who have wept with me. I love them more than words can express.
• That suffering is just that, suffering. Your requests to God become desperate (as they should always be); "Lord, help me to survive today, only by your grace."
• That the true Christian life isn't rosy or comfortable. That there is pain and brokenness and complete heart ache. Sometimes there aren't any clear answers for our circumstances. 
• That I love God simply because He is God, even when I have nothing happy to "show" for my relationship with Him. 
• That I cannot boast in anything. 
• That I don't want to be around perfect people, but rather the broken hearted.
• That it is okay, as a Christian, to grieve.
• That it deeply hurts to be ignored during your saddest time.
  
• That a kind word or gesture can do much mending.
• That, through the fellowship of His sufferings, God has made me stronger in my love for Him and for other people, especially the suffering church. 
• That my faith is being purified.

It's been a sad year. I can only pray that my time of grief is coming to an end. But if not, I know God will continue to show me more of Himself, will use my pain for His glory, and will always be with me.