Do I really have to love my enemies? Surely the Lord understands my grudges.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." 

Matthew 5:43-48

Do I really have to love my enemies? 

Many of us who consider ourselves Christ-followers live like we do not, and that somehow the Lord is alright with this. However, I think the Lord is clear on this matter. Yes, you must love your enemies, as a son or daughter of the Father. There is no room for grudges or turning our backs or withholding forgiveness as a believer. In fact, we must do the opposite and move toward our enemies in love.

It is absurd that we, who all were enemies of God, who were sought out by the Father at the expense of His own Son, who were completely forgiven, covered with grace, made to be His own children, co-heirs with Christ, say in our lifestyle, "Sorry, Lord, you must understand that I cannot love that person and I will not forgive them." 

Yes, Christian, it is hard, it is death to self, and it is simply beyond the capacity of a human, sinful heart. But, it is the Gospel and it is powered by the Holy Spirit within our new hearts. 

And when someone causes us pain, we can rest in our brotherhood with our Lord Jesus, the most elevated example to us of love for our enemies. He was betrayed by his closest friends, mocked by the crowds he came to save, and hated unto death for his message. We can rest in his words of shared suffering, "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first." John 15:18 

Will people hate you because of the Christ who resides within you, Christian? Oh yes, they will. If you live by the Spirit, it will cause you persecution, no matter where you reside in this world. It will cause you to see the type of hatred that the Lord saw. But rest in His words that you are sharing in His power, "You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved." 

Matthew 10:22

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

So what do we do when we experience this hatred? The world says to hate back, to walk away from the relationship, to give a cold shoulder, and that such a response is completely justifiable. There's nothing unique or honorable about this type of response. It is what most people do.

Yet, perhaps the reason that a hateful person has been put into your life is so that you can show them the Gospel. And you show them the Gospel by doing what the natural man cannot do; you love them. You sincerely pray for their good. You serve them. You let your own reputation be stained by them, and you refuse to slander. You entrust yourself to the Lord, who will reward you, and will use your love as a testimony of His love toward this person. Because He loves them, just as He loved you before you knew Him, when you hated Him, too.

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 1 John 4:20

And if we consider ourselves Christ-followers and live a life of grudges and resentment, this is cause for heart-evaluation. We have desperately wicked hearts that can deceive us, and there is a real battle going on by a real enemy who wants to keep people deceived, blinded, in church, and utterly lost.

Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Matthew 7:21

Have you experienced hatred for the Gospel that lives within you? I've personally experienced this type of hate several times since becoming a Christian. Each time, I've also experienced a deeper understanding of the Father and the assurance of His work in me, as well as the reality of spiritual warfare. I've experienced the joy of His sufferings as I'm hated for His name. It is truly being crucified with Christ to respond in love toward one's enemies, and yet it causes inexpressible joy to suffer with Him. 

Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. Luke 6:22-23

And when I have been tempted to play the game back, to follow my flesh and be spiteful and bitter, the Lord has disciplined me and rebuked me, "No, not my child... you will not act that way. Other people may act that way, but I will not let you do that as my child." It reminds me of how my husband and I discipline our own children out of love for them; you will not act that way, even if the other kids do.

So take heart Christian, acquainted with sorrows, rejected by men. You are the "fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life" (2 Corinthians 2:15-16). 

Many will turn away from Jesus, but some will find the narrow way. Keep loving in this hostile world, keep speaking Life without the fear of man, and what a powerful testimony of God's love you will be when you love even those who hurt you. 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18a

My morning cup

The blood of the martyrs is a powerful blood.

This sobering, yet inspiring video was produced by 21martyrs.com (it does not show the beheadings).

"And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and because of the word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years." Revelation 20:4

Did you know that 80% of worldwide religious persecution is directed at Christians? We are the most hated of peoples. And yet, our faith continues to live and thrive even in the most dangerous of places.

And lest you believe otherwise, the terrible beheading of 21 Christian men was not in vain. Thanks to ISIS, the world has been forced to see what it means to be a true person of the cross, praying to Jesus in the face of death. These men were unafraid of martyrdom, they refused to deny Jesus and did not shrink from death.

The blood of the martyrs is a powerful blood, and thanks to ISIS, it has filled up many people's hearts and minds. I pray and truly believe this proud, murderous act from an evil empire will cause revival among the church and lead many sinners to repentance.

Evil will continue to increase towards "the nation of the Cross" as time goes on, yet our Savior has told us these things before:

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. " John 15:18-19

"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22

“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me."  Matthew 24:9

"Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:13

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed." John 3:20

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28

"'Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold. "But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.'" Matthew 24:12-13

Do not fear men, they cannot touch your soul. Fear the Lord. Wear the cross around your necks, not as a pretty religious symbol, but as a symbol of the death that led to life. All men who will accept the Light of the world will be saved. The world's hatred towards us just confirms our Savior's words and truth.

Pray earnestly for an enduring faith, for a Spirit of boldness, not shrinking back from the roaring lion. His time is running short. We've already won the war, Christian. Keep your eyes on the Lord, love your enemies, and pray for the Spirit to grant you the fearless heart and powerful blood of a martyr.

October 15th - National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Did you know that today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day? Praying for all those who lost a little one too soon (we remember three babies ourselves, lost in January 2011, April 2011, and August 2013). 

 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

My Morning Cup.

This is too beautiful of a quote not to share, originally posted on the daily Gospel quotes blog, Of First Importance (one of my favorites):

“The day is coming when there shall be a congregation that shall never break up, and a Sabbath that shall never end, a song of praise that shall never cease, and an assembly that shall never be dispersed.

Here we often worship God with a deep sense of weakness, corruption, and infirmity. There, at last, we shall be able, with a renewed body, to serve Him without weariness, and to attend on Him without distraction. Here, at our very best, we see through a glass darkly, and know the Lord Jesus Christ most imperfectly. It is our grief that we do not know Him better and love Him more. There, freed from all the dross and defilement of indwelling sin, we shall see Jesus as we have been seen, and know as we have been known.

Here we have often found it hard to worship God joyfully, by reason of the sorrows and cares of this world. Tears over the graves of those we loved have often made it hard to sing praise. Crushed hopes and family sorrows have sometimes made us hang our harps on the willows. There every tear shall be dried, every saint who has fallen asleep in Christ shall meet us once more, and every hard thing in our life-journey shall be made clear and plain as the sun at noon-day." — J.C. Ryle

31 Days of Less and More: Less Disappointment, More Wonder.

Habakkuk's Complaint:

"How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?"

The Lord's answer:

“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told."

Habakkuk 1:2,5

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.

Deuteronomy 29:29

Our God is a God of wonder. His purposes are sometimes revealed to us, but not always. The secret things belong to Him, and sometimes He calls us to trust in Him through our disappointments and hurt. I just had a big disappointment this week when something I had been excited for and hoping in fell through. I have related to Habakkuk many times in my recent life, "How long, Lord, must I call for help?" 

But even in our disappointments, we can be certain that God has numbered our days from before time, knows our names, where we would live, and the very number of hairs on our heads. Nothing surprises Him and He has a great plan of wonder for the children of God who trust in Him fully, a plan that we would not believe even if we were told. 

I'm participating in the 31 Days of Less and More series, with "days 2-11—will focus on filling our lives with less heartache and more joy. Next, Part Two—days 12-21—will focus on creating less stress but more peace. Finally, Part Three—days 22-31—will hone in on our physical spaces and focus on having less stuff but more contentment." Join along with me for less stuff and stress and more joy!

31 Days of Less and More: Less Bitterness, More Forgiveness.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. 

Micah 7:18-19

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 

Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness. Not an easy word to live out, especially in a world full of sinful people, including oneself. Forgiveness is an attitude of the heart that needs to be lived out daily; just as God's mercies are new every morning, so must ours be. And almost shockingly, yet seemingly not believed by most of us who profess to believe in God's word, if we do not forgive men their sins, our Father will not forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). This is obviously a serious matter to our God, who through allowing His own Son to die, proved forgiveness to be an invaluable gift.

It's actually quite absurd for a child of God to not forgive. How much more have we ourselves been forgiven by our Father than anything anyone could require us to forgive! It cost God everything to forgive us and we were forgiven while we were yet sinners, not beautiful in the least.

All this to say, forgiveness is something that I continue to struggle with, and yet by God's grace, have been able to work through daily. It is a constant attitude of the heart and truly achievable only with the help of the Spirit.

As the lyrics say in Tenth Avenue North's song, Losing, "Give me grace to forgive them, because I feel like the one losing." Yet, there is freedom when we forgive, even those who continue to hurt us. We can choose to not be a part of their life, but we also still must choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a very deep form of love and we have a tremendous example of forgiveness in the God who hung on a cross for the ugly people who hated and mocked and killed him.

Lord, help us to forgive.

I'm participating in the 31 Days of Less and More series, with "days 2-11—will focus on filling our lives with less heartache and more joy. Next, Part Two—days 12-21—will focus on creating less stress but more peace. Finally, Part Three—days 22-31—will hone in on our physical spaces and focus on having less stuff but more contentment." Join along with me for less stuff and stress and more joy!

Currently Listening to: "Though You Slay Me" by Shane & Shane (featuring John Piper).

On the heels of a third miscarriage in two years (praising God that I was not far along), a dear friend recommended this song to me. It's beautiful. And the message from John Piper at the end brought me to tears. Nothing is meaningless.

May we see God in our suffering. He's enough.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Currently listening to: Threaten Me with Heaven by Vince Gill.

I first heard this song last night while watching the Healing in the Heartland benefit concert on Youtube and its lyrics are so powerful, and yet so simple for those who believe in Christ. Death has lost its sting and we look forward to our homecoming, when one day we'll be reunited with our Lord and God. 

Take a listen, Vince Gill does an amazing job and it is such a touching tribute to those who lost their lives in Moore, Oklahoma.

"Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints."

Psalm 116:15

Currently listening to: Worn by Tenth Avenue North.

This song is amazing in its raw honesty. And then... I watched the music video, and it's even more amazing! The lyrics also bring to mind those suffering so much right now in Moore, Oklahoma. My prayers are going out to the families who have had their lives shattered by this devastating tornado.

"I know that You can give me rest."

Currently Listening to: Who You Are by JJ Heller.

Another amazing song by JJ Heller:

 She says, I don't know,
I don't know what you're doing,
but I know who you are.

My Morning Cup: Joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.

Photo Source

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 

(1 Peter 1:6-9, ESV)

How do these four verses span the emotional spectrum from grief to inexpressible joy? Such is one beautiful paradox in the life of a believer, the blessings given in and through our trials by the Spirit that result in praise, glory, and honor to Jesus.

My Juxtaposition: Grieved, yet Rejoicing.

This post was previously written and published on my personal blog, but I wanted to share it with my readers here on fru-gal.org, as I know it may speak to some of you going through similar circumstances. The baby in the ultrasound picture is now our beloved nine month old boy, David. God is faithful. 

Blessings, Kelly

Our baby at my 8 week ultrasound, 11/28/11.

I have reached 15 weeks in my pregnancy! Every week is a milestone for me, though I'm not quite sure if I will ever be able to enjoy pregnancy any more in a relaxed, naive sort of way. Don't get me wrong (and just ask my husband), I love being pregnant again and I ask him nightly if I still "look" pregnant, as I examine my growing belly excitedly in the mirror. Of course I still look pregnant, and that's what is so exciting! I still am pregnant! Yet, I know nothing is certain and safe in this life, and I'm still holding my breath for some, unknown milestone where I will be able to let out a deep sigh of relief. Perhaps when I feel the baby move for the first time, or when we find out if the baby is a boy or girl, or when I reach the point of viability in my pregnancy. I'm not sure if it will come at any of these moments, and I may just have to wait until I hear the baby's first cries.  Or, as I've prepared myself, maybe that sigh of relief won't come. Life is just too fragile.

I hold onto one essential truth that I have learned intimately over the past year: I can trust in the Lord, even when everything else I love falls away. I can still rejoice, because above all else, I have my salvation and I understand the secret to Life. I'm blessed beyond measure, more than most people, because I have my Savior and He has chosen me.

And with this new baby, I have become able to hope again, to look at other pregnant women and not feel immediate despair, to be less sensitive to others remarks, to talk about pregnancy and babies with more ease. Yes, going through pregnancy again has helped me mend in many ways. Yet, I find myself in a unique juxtaposition. I am blessed and excited about my 4th baby growing inside my belly, so far healthy and strong, but I still find myself in moments of grief over my 2nd and 3rd. I won't have a proper name for them or see their little faces until heaven, but I still long for them as any mother would long for her missing babies. I still think about how old each of them would be right now and what my life would be like with them. My children are irreplaceable, whether I have them for seven weeks in my womb, or 60 years on earth. One child cannot substitute for the other. I'm so immensely grateful to the Lord for my current pregnancy, but I find myself rejoicing, even still, with two little holes in my heart.

To the Child in my Heart.

Sculpture in Slovakia by Martin Hudáčeka (source)

 

To the Child in my Heart
Author: Unknown 

O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.

We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother.
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.

But now you're gone...but yet you're here.
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy.
There's love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never-
The child we had, but never had,
And yet we'll have forever.

 

 

This poem sits on my dresser. My mother-in-law gave it to me after losing two babies in 2011 and I continue to give it to other moms who have gone through miscarriage. I think it poignantly expresses the love of a mom and dad for the child they never got to know. And I've learned that grief is one expression of love. As it says, "You are our sorrow and our joy. There's love in every tear."

 

 

Currently Listening to: Your Hands by JJ Heller.

Just an amazing song for you to hear.

"Not Far Apart" by Ryan Kelly

This is a beautiful Christmas song that my mom shared with me the other day, "Not Far Apart" by Ryan Kelly. My grandmother passed away in January and it is still hard to believe she is gone, especially during Christmas. I also lost two babies, who are celebrating their first Christmas with Jesus. If you have lost a loved one and are struggling during the holiday season, I hope this song is a blessing to you and my prayers go out to you!


"He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken.

In that day they will say, “Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." Isaiah 25:8-9

What Grief Has Taught Me.

What grief has taught me...

• That there is a much deeper, harder understanding to "God is good" or "God is faithful." Such statements are true, yes, but not always in a way that is easy or circumstantial. He is good even when my babies die. He is faithful even when I pray for health and trust Him with my babies, but lose both anyways. How is this so? That's a question a grieving person knows too well and continues to works through. 
• That "a friend loves at all times." There are a few, precious friends who have wept with me. I love them more than words can express.
• That suffering is just that, suffering. Your requests to God become desperate (as they should always be); "Lord, help me to survive today, only by your grace."
• That the true Christian life isn't rosy or comfortable. That there is pain and brokenness and complete heart ache. Sometimes there aren't any clear answers for our circumstances. 
• That I love God simply because He is God, even when I have nothing happy to "show" for my relationship with Him. 
• That I cannot boast in anything. 
• That I don't want to be around perfect people, but rather the broken hearted.
• That it is okay, as a Christian, to grieve.
• That it deeply hurts to be ignored during your saddest time.
  
• That a kind word or gesture can do much mending.
• That, through the fellowship of His sufferings, God has made me stronger in my love for Him and for other people, especially the suffering church. 
• That my faith is being purified.

It's been a sad year. I can only pray that my time of grief is coming to an end. But if not, I know God will continue to show me more of Himself, will use my pain for His glory, and will always be with me.

"We cannot ignore their suffering and their faith."

"I have purposely included six months of 'difficult' photos in the 2012 calendar to accurately reflect our work. We ask that you pray for these children and for the many others they represent. The photos for some months may prompt readers to close the calendar and put it in their desk drawer. But these are the faithful families we serve. We cannot ignore their suffering and their faith." 
-Tom White, President of Voice of the Martyrs (reflecting on the 2012 VOM prayer calendar)


I loved the ending of this quote from Tom White, president of Voice of the Martyrs. We cannot ignore the persecuted church's suffering, and likewise, their faith. How often do we ignore the suffering in our own lives and the lives of those around us? It is admittedly hard to face at times, but ignoring does an injustice to those hurting and an injustice to the God who is using their suffering and faith for His glory.

The persecuted church is happening today, with unimaginable stories coming out of restricted nations. We can stick our heads in the sand if we think that easier, but in so doing, we only marginalize their great suffering for the Lord in order to leave us comfortable and useless in today's worldwide church. I don't know about you, but I want to be counted with these tremendous saints one day. I do not want to be known as a Western Christian who sat happily, while my brothers and sisters in Christ received many eternal crowns, without my voice and love to support them in their incredible pilgrimage.

I intended to put a link to the 2012 VOM prayer calendar, in case you wanted to support VOM by purchasing one. I couldn't find it available yet on their website, but will let you know when it becomes available. Each day of the year has a restricted nation listed with a way you can specifically pray for the Christians there (including the children).

Also, the free offer for Richard Wurmbrand's book, Tortured for Christ, is still available (you can send complimentary copies to your friends or family, too). I have read the book and recommend it. Many sections are hard to read, yet eye-opening and beneficial for us to hear in the West.

My Morning Cup.

Ecclesiastes 3:11a
He has made everything beautiful in its time.

My Morning Cup.

Ecclesiastes 3:4
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance


This verse gives me great hope that one day, eventually, maybe even soon, I will be in that laughing, dancing time. And I won't be so quick to take that time for granted after experiencing this weeping, mourning, "how much longer" time.